Quirrell was a bad boy...
by Mugetsu Mikado
Summary: Dumbledore punishes Quirrell...and it's not right....*chp 2 is up^^*
1. The Beginning...

Ok.....Don't ask me what I was thinking but here it is...I was originally going to use Harry instead of Quirrell but Quirrell is such a p-p-pussy and I love to play with him^^ (stop thinking like that you sick people go spank your monkeys) Ok Quirrell was saved miraculously, and Dumbledore is here to punish him for his loyalties to the fatass Voldemort.  
  
Enjoy^^  
  
This was it! Quirrell had been caught! Luckily though Madam Pomfrey was able to heal his burn wounds from Harry's little quarel with Quirrell *HEHEHE I MADE A FUNNY^^* and had managed to get rid of that Godforsaken garlic smell from the back of his head.  
  
Quirrell rolled over uncomfortably in the little hospital bed he was laying in. Only minutes away he knew he would be yanked from this school and sent to Azkabar imediately, probably never seeing daylight again. It's over, I'm going die, I might as kill myself now...But then the door slowly began to turn. Quirrell held his breath. Just minutes away and he'd be in a filthy, prison with a bunch of dirty, homosexual old men trying to mess with him and trying to claim him as their bitch. Oh the horror...  
  
It was Madam Pomfrey. "Mr. Dumbledore is here to see you sir. I believe it is about your punishment..." Quirrell heard her snicker slightly. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! He could feel his heart lump up in his throat.  
  
Mr. Dumbledore came through the door. SHIT! He smiled. He smiled, a disgusting, heartfelt, warm smile. It made Quirrell sick.  
  
"Hello, Professor Quirrell.:) Wait...I guess I shouldn't be calling you Professor, now should I?" He began chuckling at his own joke. "Ahem. Now don't go on thinking you are going to go unpunished, because you are, but lets just say it won't be as harsh as you might think..."  
  
Quirell could recognise what was in that voice. Something sly and sneaky about it there was...  
  
"Really? Not that bad?" Quirrell asked, peeking from the his blankey.  
  
"Really, not that bad."^^  
  
Quirrell felt a hand resting on his thigh through the outside of the blanket. Uh oh...  
  
"Well come on now! We haven't got all day!" He grabbed Quirrell by his wrist and pulled him out from under the blanket and through the door. (Don't worry he still has his clothes on but they are Bounty fresh and clean^^)  
  
Bum bum bum....In Dumbledore's dungeon....  
  
Quirrell was chained to the wall! The old guy had stripped him down to the bone and shackled him there. God, the humiliation! These were terrible times. Terrible! He didn't know if he was going to be able to live again. Dumbledore was bending over in a corner looking for something in a huge chest he had. Quirrell thought he was going to be sick if he even glanced in that direction.  
  
A few minutes later Dumbledore found what he was looking for and winked at Quirrell. Quirrell nearly puked.  
  
"Now don't look, cutie pie. Daddy is gonna throw on some lingerie, and until then be patient baby." Oh God, he's calling me baby  
  
Maybe thirty seconds later Dumbledore was fully dressed, well maybe not fully but still, in a leather thong,a girter belt, and a girdle that made his ass stick very far out. Dumbledore walked over to Quirrell and kissed him violently on the lips.  
  
"Okay...honey...You can open your eyes now Shnookems..."  
  
But however Quirrell didn't. He kept those eyes shut as tight as he could.  
  
"Oh, don't make me have to hurt you sweetie, I can get very rough..."  
  
**************************************************  
  
Ok, well after a very violent, passionate, ok let's all admit it, DISGUSTING night, Quirrell woke up with a very sore ass, and yes, something more. Little does everyone know Quirrell has a SECRET!!!! Well actually Dumbledore knows now, and I know too:) And it's very wrong. Maybe if I get enough reviews I'll tell you his secret....Bum bum bum...;) 


	2. The patheticness...

Quirrell was having problems. Not just any problems. Woman problems. With a hand on his stomach, he walked over to Dumbledore and smacked him.  
  
"You bastard!! I'm f***ing pregnant!! What did you do to me??!!!!!!"  
  
"Made you a woman, of course."  
  
Just then....a shadow fell across the floor. It was shaped like someone on a duck. It was Darkchild and Sir Quacksalot!!!!  
  
Darkchild: *pulls out a uzi* DIE YOU HARRY POTTER FREAKS!!!!!  
  
Sir Quacksalot:Quack!  
  
Darkchild: Shut up Sir Quacksalot! Now, come along before I eat your wing. KILL THEM!!!!  
  
*blows off Dumbledore's and Quirrell's heads*  
  
Mugetsu comes out of nowhere.  
  
Mugetsu: Uh.....you just ruined my story....  
  
Darkchild: No need to thank me. Let's get ice cream! *bites off arm*  
  
//Ok....that was a stupid ending......but I needed any excuse for me to stop writing// 


End file.
